See Hugh Jackman hop. See Hugh Jackman hop some more. Watch minutes pass that could have been devoted to a number from Bridges of Madison County. Wonder why Jackman is stealing a not-interesting bit from a movie. Remember last year's fabulous opening number. Wish Neil Patrick Harris could be in two places at one time.
Be really glad at the open same-sex affection.
See After Midnight's number be ruined by random camera work. See Aladdin be simultaneously overenergetic and underinteresting. See Rocky be the same. See Les Miz land like a second-rate middle-school production. Feel pummeled when Nikki James sings. See Violet's number fail to express its essential (and wonderful) Violet-ness.
See Hugh Jackman do something annoying. See Hugh Jackman do something else annoying. See Hugh Jackman fail to understand that it is not the Hugh Jackman show.
Watch some worthwhile, moving, and/or entertaining stuff sneak its way in: Sophie Okonedo, Mark Rylance, Audra McDonald, Wicked, Sting, the Music Man rap (so sue me), Gentlemen's Guide.
Wonder if the opening number from Cabaret is really that flat, or is just the result of seeing it for the 1,457,233rd time.
Add up all the comprehensible words from the Aladdin and Hedwig songs and realize it is a very small number.
See Jason Robert Brown and other important theatre people relegated to snippets since their awards are clearly not as important as watching Hugh Jackman hop.
See Hugh Jackman take some of the most important moments of five women's careers and make them about him. See Hugh Jackman take some of the most important moments of five other women's careers and make them about him.
See Kelli O'Hara seated in row ZZ, in a final slap at Bridges of Madison County.
Realize that the obit section was also relegated to the non-televised abyss so that we could watch Hugh Jackman hop.
Keep fingers crossed that the producers have already signed Neil Patrick Harris for the 69th Annual Tony Awards.