Saturday, January 16, 2010

10. Teaser Cow

Using a teaser cow's artificial vagina to capture prime bull semen may seem like a good idea at the time (well, an efficient idea), but in actuality, it's just a way for everyone to get fucked faster. Clay MacLeod Chapman's collaboration with the Greek-centric company One Year Lease rushes to mash-up Crete and Fast Food Nation, and the result compromises much of what made them good in the first place. When focused on the Minos family--Minos (Gregory Waller), bull-fucking wife Pasiphae (Sarah-Jane Casey), and outcast teenage daughter Ariadne (Christina Bennett Lind)--his monologues work, particularly in relation to the tragic theme: "We treat our meat like family!" (Yes, but how do you treat your family?) But the corporate bits fall flat: though Daedalus (Nick Flint) has mad cow, he shouldn't be singing an explanation of steroidal farming, and Theseus (Danny Bernardy) abruptly shifts from Ariadne's beau to a minotaur "slaying" wage-slave. To get corporate for a moment, what's missing is the synergy: you can't just herd a bunch of talent together and expect something fresh.

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